Thanks to Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, I am today announcing my latest business venture.
At the age of four, this remarkable public servant immigrated to the US from Ukraine. A Harvard-educated soldier, he served his country in deployments to several countries, Including Iraq, where he received a Purple Heart after sustaining injuries from a roadside bomb.
Following his tours of duty and numerous medals and commendations, he became a foreign service officer, serving embassies in Kiev and Moscow. Returning to the States, he was assigned as an adviser to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. In 2018, his career peaked when he accepted an assignment with the National Security Council.
We all know how that turned out. In exchange for testifying truthfully under subpoena, Lt. Col. Vindman was summarily fired by the president, as was his twin brother Yevgeny (apparently for the crime of sharing the same last name).
And where were those Republican politicians? You know them well. They’re front and center every Memorial Day, shouting praise for our loyal servicemen and women. They’re the ones who incorporate the words law-abiding, freedom and patriot into every speech. One might ask how these cowards can look at themselves in the mirror after failing to defend one of the heroes they profess to support.
Which brings me to my new business venture. Upon request, my company will come to the homes of the North Carolina Republican delegation and their staffs to apply a coating to their mirrors that will block all reflections. A modest additional charge will buy a life-size image of John McCain to stare back at them. But be warned; act soon because demand will certainly increase in November after those who vote to reelect the cowards struggle to preserve their own self-illusion as law-abiding, freedom-loving patriots.